Just try it

So as promised I got back on the sattle again! I had such a great success with the Couch to 5k program that I thought why not do it again.  I got my gym bag ready, sporty outfit on, hair in a perfect workout pony tail (yes sometimes my work out mood can and is determined by my ponytail.  Don't judge.) And I headed off to the Boys & Girls Club.  In order to save money for the wedding I have chosen to use the Club gym as my gym of choice.  For my wallet this is a great idea but for my workouts, it can be a little tough.  Imagine putting a treadmil in the middle of your office and trying to workout.  Parents and kids everywhere.  Someone always there to have a converstation with.  I bet you understand a little more what I mean when you invision yourself working out where you work. 

Today, however, I made eye contact with as few people as possible as I entered the building.  I only made some form of communication with my friend Kim as she worked the front desk.  I am glad that she understood my almost military like hand signals that I was going up to the gym and that I'd talk to her (and everyone else) I put my head down and made it to the gym succesfully without talking to a single sole.  I began my workout and couldn't believe how great it felt.  I had debated starting the C25k program halfway thru but I said to myself you have to build a base of success in order to achieve your goals.  In other words baby steps. 

In the program the first week starts out with 20 minute workout where you jog for 60 seconds and then walk for 90 seconds.  I started out going 6.0 for jogging and then brought it down to 3.5 for my walks.  When I went to go back to a run, I slipped up and went 6.5.  I thought in that split second "just try it"  Success.  I walked.  Time to jog again.  My fingers hit the speed up to 6.7.  Again, I was like "just try it" This happened a few more times until I was at 7.5 speed for the day.  I'm not sure what a fast speed is on the treadmil, I'm sure I sound like a total turtle but I was so proud of myself.  All those feelings of success came flooding back to me.  It felt great. And I am hooked again.  YESSAH BUDDY BOY!

With that said I am challenging any of my followers that have not done a 5k to start training this week or next week. I will find a race for us to run in or we can just go for our own run.  I want other people that have said they can't to "just try it" and see what happens.  Make a pledge to join my "team" of runners as we get healthy and back on track.  Whose with me?

Cry me a river

Currently, I am sitting on my couch watching the Biggest Loser Season 12 opener.  For those who don't know when I first started this journey, I was given the opportunity to try out for the Biggest Losere. If I made it this would have been the Season that I would have been on. At first, I thought I was not going to watch it.  I didnt want to feel like a bigger failure not making it on the show and not having hit a weight loss goal in a long time.  Something told me I had to put it on and I am so glad that I did. Watching these contestants struggle during their first workouts brings me back to January when I started this whole thing.  I was like them.  I couldn't climb stairs without loosing my breath.  I couldn't run for more than 30 seconds at a time.  I was a 282 pound woman nearing 300 pounds rapidly.   I know exactly where these people have been because I was there....and still am.



In case you needed a visual



As each contestant tells their story, I cry. I mean full out huge tears.   As I am wiping my face, I am getting even more upset with myself for not wearing water proof mascara.  I got up to look at myself in the mirror and I look like LC for The Hills.  I also broke down when one of the contestants lost her father to conjestive heart failure.  She said one of the biggest reasons why she was on the show was so she wouldn't end up like her dad and that was what she said during her interview.  It hit so close to home for me because like Becky, I don't want to end up like my father. I want a full healthy life. 

At this point I am thankful that its Kevin's dart night so I can have this emotional breakdown without the "Jesus why are you crying NOW" comments.  Its just a wave of emotion that is taking over me right now.  I am happy that I am not where these people are but I am mad that I could be so much further along in this journey.   I have to do better and be better for alot of reasons but mostly I have to keep moving forward.   I maintaned this summer.  Great.  Summer is over.  This wedding is getting closer (391 days whose counting.) My endline is coming closer and I am not even halfway there yet.  So here I am again.  Restarting this journey with a renewed faith in myself and my goal of becoming a skinny bride for my October 2012 wedding. Along the way I will be sharing my ups and downs about planning my wedding and changing my unhealthy lifestyle.