Just try it

So as promised I got back on the sattle again! I had such a great success with the Couch to 5k program that I thought why not do it again.  I got my gym bag ready, sporty outfit on, hair in a perfect workout pony tail (yes sometimes my work out mood can and is determined by my ponytail.  Don't judge.) And I headed off to the Boys & Girls Club.  In order to save money for the wedding I have chosen to use the Club gym as my gym of choice.  For my wallet this is a great idea but for my workouts, it can be a little tough.  Imagine putting a treadmil in the middle of your office and trying to workout.  Parents and kids everywhere.  Someone always there to have a converstation with.  I bet you understand a little more what I mean when you invision yourself working out where you work. 

Today, however, I made eye contact with as few people as possible as I entered the building.  I only made some form of communication with my friend Kim as she worked the front desk.  I am glad that she understood my almost military like hand signals that I was going up to the gym and that I'd talk to her (and everyone else) I put my head down and made it to the gym succesfully without talking to a single sole.  I began my workout and couldn't believe how great it felt.  I had debated starting the C25k program halfway thru but I said to myself you have to build a base of success in order to achieve your goals.  In other words baby steps. 

In the program the first week starts out with 20 minute workout where you jog for 60 seconds and then walk for 90 seconds.  I started out going 6.0 for jogging and then brought it down to 3.5 for my walks.  When I went to go back to a run, I slipped up and went 6.5.  I thought in that split second "just try it"  Success.  I walked.  Time to jog again.  My fingers hit the speed up to 6.7.  Again, I was like "just try it" This happened a few more times until I was at 7.5 speed for the day.  I'm not sure what a fast speed is on the treadmil, I'm sure I sound like a total turtle but I was so proud of myself.  All those feelings of success came flooding back to me.  It felt great. And I am hooked again.  YESSAH BUDDY BOY!

With that said I am challenging any of my followers that have not done a 5k to start training this week or next week. I will find a race for us to run in or we can just go for our own run.  I want other people that have said they can't to "just try it" and see what happens.  Make a pledge to join my "team" of runners as we get healthy and back on track.  Whose with me?

Cry me a river

Currently, I am sitting on my couch watching the Biggest Loser Season 12 opener.  For those who don't know when I first started this journey, I was given the opportunity to try out for the Biggest Losere. If I made it this would have been the Season that I would have been on. At first, I thought I was not going to watch it.  I didnt want to feel like a bigger failure not making it on the show and not having hit a weight loss goal in a long time.  Something told me I had to put it on and I am so glad that I did. Watching these contestants struggle during their first workouts brings me back to January when I started this whole thing.  I was like them.  I couldn't climb stairs without loosing my breath.  I couldn't run for more than 30 seconds at a time.  I was a 282 pound woman nearing 300 pounds rapidly.   I know exactly where these people have been because I was there....and still am.



In case you needed a visual



As each contestant tells their story, I cry. I mean full out huge tears.   As I am wiping my face, I am getting even more upset with myself for not wearing water proof mascara.  I got up to look at myself in the mirror and I look like LC for The Hills.  I also broke down when one of the contestants lost her father to conjestive heart failure.  She said one of the biggest reasons why she was on the show was so she wouldn't end up like her dad and that was what she said during her interview.  It hit so close to home for me because like Becky, I don't want to end up like my father. I want a full healthy life. 

At this point I am thankful that its Kevin's dart night so I can have this emotional breakdown without the "Jesus why are you crying NOW" comments.  Its just a wave of emotion that is taking over me right now.  I am happy that I am not where these people are but I am mad that I could be so much further along in this journey.   I have to do better and be better for alot of reasons but mostly I have to keep moving forward.   I maintaned this summer.  Great.  Summer is over.  This wedding is getting closer (391 days whose counting.) My endline is coming closer and I am not even halfway there yet.  So here I am again.  Restarting this journey with a renewed faith in myself and my goal of becoming a skinny bride for my October 2012 wedding. Along the way I will be sharing my ups and downs about planning my wedding and changing my unhealthy lifestyle. 

 

Mulligans

Kevin and I have been fighting.  Yes, fighting about every little thing on the face of the planet.  I'm sure if you have been around us lately you've seen it or heard the ridiculousness

" The girls should have two straps or no straps for their dresses" - Kevin

" Are you kidding me? You don't care about anything about the wedding but you care about their straps" - Dee

"Yes" - Kevin

"Well thats just dumb and they are getting whatever they want" -Dee

" Our XBOX got red ring...we need to get a new one" - Kevin

" Seriously? We have a wedding to pay for and you care about XBOX? You don't care about the wedding.  You don't care to be in this relationship.  Why are we getting married?" -Dee (thats the cliffnotes version of that fight.  Amanda Poste has a recording via a butt dial if you would like to hear the real fight)

Oh yes. We have reached that point in our relationship and in wedding planning that we are totally stressed out.  Well me more than him but if everyone knows us then then know if I am stressed out, Kevin is stressed out.  I know you all are going to read this and tell me that I need to just remember its one day and so forth.  I can't help that I worry about every little detail.  I keep thinking and rethinking every idea that I have.  Of course Kevin's response to everything is... "Whatever you want Dee"    I have grown to hate that statement.  It just means that whatever choice has to be made, its made by me.  If it doesn't work out.  Its Dee's fault.  Not our fault.  Again, I know most men don't help with wedding planning so I shouldn't get worked up but I'm just stressed out...

So to say that today was a much needed "date day" would be an understatement We call the rare days we have off together and have nothing to do, date day.  Today's date day took us up to Brooksby Farm (the place where we are having a reception.) We brought a picnic lunch up there and sat out by the farm stand and ate.  We talked about all the things we were excited about for the wedding. We laughed and smiled a bit.  He made fun of me when I said I wanted to have a hayrides for our guests.  Looking back on it now, its kinda over the top, like he said.  We then went shopping inside the farm stand for fresh fruits and veggies.  We picked up some yummy things for our kitchen.  We even picked up some cider donuts, a favorite of ours.

After our great lunch we made our way to where we had our first date, Richardson's Ice Cream/Golf Country.  The first time we went there I came out the victor.  I expected the same result to happen again.  I was wrong.  Very wrong.  I was down by 14 and I hit the ball a little harder than I should.  I guess you could call it pouting.  The ball went flying into the water way.  I chased it down and thought I saved it but it by me before I could pick it up.  The water was moving rather quickly and it seemed my efforts were a lost cause.Then out of the corner of my eye I see Kevin leaping over the stone bridge and onto the next hole.  He then threw himself down (kinda looked like a belly flop) and got to the ball just in time before it went into the little pond of lost balls.  He held it up victorious...

"We'll call that one a mulligan"  He said with a wink with soaking wet left pant leg from his adventure.  

Some how over the next few holes I caught up to just five strokes behind.  I know that he missed very easy shots especially on the last hole.  I got a hole in one while he somehow got a six.  He swears he doesn't know what happen to him on the last hole but I know he was just being sweet.   He is just that kind of guy.  He does little things to make me smile.  He may not be an overly romantic, flower buying, expensive dinner kind of guy.  He may not be the 'I like this centerpiece more than that one', let me help you make this choice for the wedding, kind of guy.  He is ,however, the guy who will give me a mulligan when I clearly don't deserve it.  When I look back years from now its going to be those things that make me remember why I love him.  And I'll be one happy girl. 

Not so sweet summertime.

This summer got the best of me....

I didn't really loose this summer or gain this summer...

I haven't written in my blog in weeks...

I am feeling like a slacker.

There I said it. All the things I avoided saying to you all that have been following this journey.  Its not easy being able to say you failed especially to the world but I had to say it.  Many people hide from failure.  I know I do.  I hate saying to you all that the Skinny Bride fell off the wagon a bit. I can say just a bit because I did wake up twice a week and do bootcamp (thank god.)  I didn't know how to put it out there that the "motivated one" wasn't so motivated anymore.  Everyone kept telling me I have all this time to my wedding to stop worrying about the little details but folks we are getting close to the year mark and I know its time to really buckle down. The little detail of my not so little body is a huge deal to me.  I have basically until February to order my dress.  6 months! Its time to turn it up, burn it up and get this body to wear it needs to be. 

Looking to start a walking group, a challenge of some sort with friends...I don't know something to get other people motivated along with me.  Anyone have any suggestions or want to join me?

It's go time people...


ps. so proud of Lauren Puff for starting her own Blog even thought she hasn't shared it with the world yet.  Its witty, funny and honest.  Can't wait to read more.  (Yea I called you out)

Overachiever

I am not a fan of anything before 7am.  So when my alarm goes off at 5:15am every Tuesday and Thursday for bootcamp, I'm not exactly jumping out of bed ready to take on the day.   Don't get my wrong, I love my bootcamp.  Bootcamp has been what has helped me maintain my weight loss all summer while eating pretty much whatever I want.  However, I usually love bootcamp after I leave.  I am usually pumped up and want to take on the world.  Its getting there thats the problem. I fumble around the apartment looking for my water bottle that I am holding.  Then I can't find my keys that are always on the hook right before by the door.  Lets not forget the selection of the tshirt.  I must put on 4 different shirts before I am ready to go.  I'm not really into matching workout clothes, its more delaying leaving for camp. Then its the mad dash to get there because I live two minutes away from bootcamp and I think I leave myself exactly 2 minutes to get there. Then start the texts and facebook messages from my two friends Amanda and Jenn (who I convinced them to join bootcamp)now stalk me in the morning if I am not there by 5:55am.  They have started leaving me messages at 11pm saying "YOU BETTER BE THERE" So then when I wake up I know that I HAVE to go or I will catch the biggest bunch of you know what from them during softball. 
     Speaking of Amanda and Jenn, we are kinda those girls at Bootcamp.  We always workout in the same group and we are always the ones laughing the entire time (well when we can breathe) One of our trainers told us he was going to separate us. We laughed at him but kept working out.   Dont get me wrong, we work hard in our group.  Its not all joking around.  In fact, I always joke and call Jenn "Overachiever" because when the trainer says jog, she sprints. Which then makes Amanda sprint so Jenn doesn't beat her.  I can't be the ONLY one not doing it so then I have sprint and soon enough we are pushing ourselves way more than we would have.  So at the end of bootcamp, I am thankful for my overachiever friend. 
     I think everyone should have an overachiever friend(s) like Jenn and Amanda.  Its not easy loosing weight or changing your lifestyles.  You have to surround yourself with people that will motivate you and support you on your hard days.  Geraldine is my non-workout overachiever in my life.  She keeps reminding me of my "bucket list" and wants to check off my bucket list with me.  She was the one that was like "Buy your ticket to San Fran NOW" I love it! Find your overachiever in your life and hang out with them as much as possible.  They will be the one you want to celebrate with and they'll celebrate right back with you! Theres no such thing as being an overachiever when it comes to getting healthy.  Remember that!   You can do it and you can't do it alone.  You really can't.  You may think you can keep it a secret  from everyone around but in the long run you will be more successful when you don't go at it alone.  Go out and get your overachiever!

And of course I would like to wish one of my overachievers a very happy birthday!!!






   

It never fails...

This morning while getting ready for bootcamp I came across my "Yessah Buddy Boy" t-shirt and thought I should throw it on. For those of you who forgot or missed that post, I had a tshirt made for the road race that I ran with a saying that my dad used to say.  I've been missing my dad recently (well everyday.)  Its not that crying myself to sleep kinda of missing but more of I just wish I could call him up and talk to him missing.  So I thought the shirt would give me an extra boost.
    Right before we started bootcamp this morning a woman came up to me and was like "Oh I came across your blog and love it.  I think we have a few mutual friends."

"Oh thank you"

"But there's more.  Was your father a Cambridge Police officer, Joe Savioli?"

"Yes, I'm his youngest."

"Oh my family knows him..." And she went on to talk about how her husband family grew up around the my sisters.  Before we could finish the convo our trainer was ordering us to begin camp. 

It never fails when I need it someone out of nowhere comes up to me and says "Was your dad Joe Savioli?"  They always have such great things to say about him and it makes me feel like he is here still with me, that the world hasn't forgotten about him.  I mean if you knew my dad you would know that I don't think people could EVER forget him.  He just had this good time personality and people just adored him.  I remember as a kid that everywhere we went he knew SOMEONE.  We never went anywhere that someone didn't come up and say "Joe good to see you!" and shake his hand.  My stepmother said once that out of all my sisters that I had my dad's personality the most.  I always took that as a compliment. 

So as this journey continues I feel his support even though he is gone.  I'm sure my new bootcamp friend has no idea how that little 2 minute convo made my entire day and really helped me get through a tough class.  Thank you!

On a side not I'm heading to San Fran this October.  My friend Lauren Puff (WHO HASN'T STARTED HER OWN BLOG AND NEEDS TO) has been saying for forever that I should come see her.  I made tons of excuses why not to go but finally Sunday night I said "Why not?!?"  Kevin and a few friends have offered to pay for it for my birthday present which is incredible.  I will get to cross off a whole bunch of things on my "Bucket List" that I made after my dad passed.  I feel a little bit closer to him everytime I check something off and find no other perfect way to ring in my 30th.  Loving it and loving life!

Dear Jacob

Dear Jacob,
    I am so excited to finally meet you.  Its been a long 9 months talking to your mom's belly, waiting for you to come out.  Your mom is a fantastic woman who has been my best friend for half of my life.  We've experienced so much with each other.  She was there for me during the rough middle school years where everything with dramatic. She was my teammate when we won championships in high school.  She stood in the pouring rain for my college graduation and helped Uncle Kevin plan the perfect proposal and much more.  I must say though out of all our experiences YOU have been the greatest one.  I went with mom to the doctors alot when they were checking up on you. One day she asked me to come back in the room with her and I got to hear your heartbeat.  It was so fast and strong.  Mommy then asked me and Auntie Andrea (along with Daddy and Nay Nay) to go to the doctors to find out if you were a boy or girl. Auntie Andrea thought you were a girl for sure but I knew better.  I did a little fist pump when we found out you were going to be a boy.  Mostly because I was right and Auntie Andrea was wrong.  (You'll see that alot in your life buddy.  Auntie Dee doesn't like to be wrong EVER)

While we are talking about your Aunties, I bet your confused about how you have so many Aunties and Uncles.  I promise not everyone in the world is named Auntie and Uncle.  I know it seems that way because almost everyone you've met so far has been called that.  You were just born into a crazy little "family" full of friends who are family and family that are friends.  There isn't much that we don't do together or tell each other.  Get used to it!  You'll probably go on your first date and myself, Auntie Andrea and Auntie Erin will just happen to be at the same movie.  Ask your "cousins" Krysta and Lexi.  They'll tell you.

Your mom and dad (you too) have a pretty incredible  real family but I must say your fake family is   awesome too.  It was incredible to be in the room with Auntie Jill and Auntie Kristyn last night too.  The four of us used to cause alot of trouble back in the day.  Its just great to see that we have just as many laughs as we did back in junior high.  You'll love going to see them in Rhode Island and hopefully I will have made it down there by the time you can actually read this. 

Make sure you call Auntie Andrea auntie first.  You're her first niece or nephew and she is really excited about it.

Auntie Erin is going to drag you to the beach, pools and she will try to be more tanned than you each summer. Just let her think she will win this competition.  We know your Spanish side will come out especially during the summer.

Uncle Chris is going to put you in skates before you can walk (that is if Auntie Tishy doesn't do it first.)

Daddy and Uncle Kevin and the rest of your family want you to play football so lets get on that.  We want you to sign with the Patriots in Season 2032.  ( Don't listen to Uncle Tyrone either lol)

You're a pretty lucky guy even if you are only 36 hours old.  I can't wait to watch you grow up and be a part of your life.  Be good to your Mom and love her lots.  She is this incredibly sweet, understanding, caring woman that has always been there for me so take that into consideration when she puts you in time out.

 Just remember when in doubt/.... you can call me your favorite Auntie or Skinny Auntie!

Love you to the Moon and back,
Auntie Dee