Its a mental thing...

I have been extremely busy lately so my running program has been suffering a little.  Yesterday, I finished W4D3 of C25K.  For those of you who don't know what the hell I am talking about I will so kindly break it down for you.  Week 4, Day 3 of the Couch to 5k program.  The program takes you thru 3 runs for 9 weeks.  It tells you exactly what you are supposed to be doing to get you from the "couch to doing a 5k." I feel like its some kind of secret code when I see someone else post W2D2 or W7D1. Its encouraging to see alot of other people doing the same program I am.   So last night I take a look at W5D1, W5D2 and finally W5D3 and I see this is the week that they kick it high gear.  Well high gear enough for this Wanna Be Skinny Bride.  At W5D3 I have to run 2 miles (or 20 minutes) without stopping.  OH NO!!!!!  I immediately  went into panic mode.  Am I ready? Can I do it? What if I can't? 

     I feel like this is the put out or shut up week. I am also at 250lbs at this present moment.  I got to get into the 240's this week.  Mentally I just have to do this.  I remember when I hit 250 on the way up and I cried.  I want to be in the 240's again (and 230s, 220s, 210s...)  I am tired of seeing my weight in the 250's. Its annoying and frustrating.  This is the week I am doing it.  I know I keep saying week but I am doing the Couch25k runs for the next three days in a row and I have my weigh in on Sunday so for me its still this week.  I am going to kick my own ass this week so that I can get the results I want. 

   I am mentally preparing for the rest of this ass kicking by changing up my workout playlist (also drinking LOTS of water.)  I don't know why but the music I listen to when I am working out plays a huge factor in my performance.  It may come from when I played high school/college sports.  We always had a warm up and its just made me that much more ready to play.  With a heavy heart, I took off the Scissor Sisters (I don't feel like dancing) Katrina and the Waves (Walking on Sunshine) and all the other "happy fun songs" This week it has to be more about ass kicking and less about making myself feel happy when I run.  The "happy" feeling will come after I finish my run. 

Heres the playlist for those of you who are wondering
Loose yourself (Five minute warm up song)
Standing outside the fire by Garth Brooks.  (a quick stretch)
Bodies by Drowning Pool  (this is the song I start my work out with because I get all my anger out the first few minutes so I can focus)
Welcome to the Jungle by Guns and Roses (Kev knows why)
Nothin' But A good Time by Poison
Desire by U2
Elevation by U2
X is Gunna Give to Ya - DMX ( Don't ask I am weird about my rap)
Till I Collapse by Eminem
Enter Sandman - Metallica
All Fired Up by Pat Benatar.  (Finish Line Song)

The last song "All Fired Up" is my last song EVERY time I workout.  I feel like when I end on the same song it gets my mentally prepared to finish strong.  I push myself faster and harder because I know at that point that there isn't much more time to get it done.  Its a great idea for those of you who listen to music during your workouts.  Time your play lists to put a "power" song on in the middle/end of your workout so that when you think you can't do it you can.

And by the way for all you Catholics out there I gave up being tough on myself for Lent.  For the next 40 days I am going to be more positive about myself.  My sister and fiance said I should give up facebook for Lent but you all know that can't happen! Happy Thursday!!!