"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."
For the last 11 weeks I have done the same thing. I wake up. I annoy Kevin about the fact that I wish our schedule would allow us to spend all day Sunday in bed watching movies. Weigh myself. Eat some breakfast and do my weekly challenge on the Biggest Loser Game. I have been kicking ass and coming in first for the last few weeks so I think Kevin secretly enjoys my victory dances around the house. Then the phone rings without fail every Sunday before 12am and I hear my mothers voice on the other end...
After my last post, I started to think about how I don't mention my mother unless it involves wedding related drama and its about time I mention the other side of her. She calls every Sunday to check in on me and to see how I am doing. I know for a long time I told everyone that I was hurt by her constant "reminders" about how much weight I needed to loose but I kinda of enjoy the fact now that she is so invested in my health. She gets so excited when I tell her how much I have lost even if its 1lb she is still happy for me. I don't have to call and remind her that its Sunday, she just knows.
Growing up I was totally a momma girl. She was my best friend. We did everything together. I was her "Boo Boo Bear" and happily went everywhere she went. Then my father left and everything changed. My mom didn't have the time to go to all my games like she used to. She had to work. In fact she worked her ass off to provide for us (Melissa and I) When it was time for us to take care of ourselves, my grandfather got very sick with Alzheimer's Disease. My mother being the strong person that she was took care of my grandfather during that time. She made sure she went to see him on her way home from work every day. She did all that she could and then some but as I am sure you all know Alzheimer's Disease is just too strong and soon he passed away.
There wasn't a lot of smiles and laughter for a few years until John Pappas came into her life. When he came along it just made the little light inside of her go back on. He makes giggle like a school girl. Its funny cause I don't remember many times that my parents were like that. I like to think of John as my mother's true soul mate. They go on 20 mile bike rides in Vermont. They garden together at Johns beautiful house. They truly are living the kind of life that I hope Kevin and I will have someday.
So when she is yelling at me about the need to cut down the list of wedding guests from 240 to 180 or when she asks questions about the caterer dying or tells me I am a fool for having 9 bridesmaids or insists on having a church wedding or tells me she isn't going to help Kevin and I out if I don't ask Melissa to attend EVERY wedding vendor meeting with us or just isn't happy the way I am planning...I am going to think back to the Sunday phone calls, smile and say "Yes, Mom"
I have always been close to my mother too, with the exception of my teen years when I wanted nothing more than for her to just leave me alone. She was always asking where I was going, who I was going with, when I'd be back and what I would be doing. It annoyed and irritated me. Now, as a parent, I look back at that and I realize that even though she was a pain in my ass then, and can still be a pain in my ass now, I would be lost without her. So if my options are having her, or a mother who isn't around (either by choice or not) or is around but just doesn't care, I'll take the nagging pain in the ass that I love so much. We are so very lucky to have our moms!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of you!