The things they don't tell you in sex ed

I can remember sitting in Mrs.Mahoney's Health class dreading the end of her class when she would pull out her famous "Sex bag."  For those of you who don't know the "Sex Bag" was this little maroon velvet bag that had gold glitter gender symbols glued on it.  She would hand mus each a slip of paper and you either had to write no question 3x or write down a question you were too scared to ask in front of everyone.  I ,of course, always wrote no question in fear she would recognize my handwritting.  However, there was always that one classmate that would write about the size of his you know what.  Ex.  "What should I do if my "friend" is so big it needs its own zip code?"  Mrs.Mahoney would do her best to keep a straight face because any question that was in the sex bag had to be treated with respect and dignity. 

     Lately, I have been wondering what I would write if I could go back and write down questions that I have NOW in my life because I feel like we didn't cover major sections in her class.  We were taught so many lessons on how not to get pregnant, safe sex and the old warnings it "only takes one time" but where were the REAL lessons? The ones that we would really need in life.  You know the one that tells you thats its okay to be freaked out about having children. Or when you're ready you may not get pregnant.  Or how to express how happy you are for someone via their facebook status.  Or you might get pregnant but hold off until you get excited because you may lose that baby.  Or how do you deal with watching your friends have babies while you sit back and hope that the very next baby shower will be yours.  Or how do you comfort one of your best friends as she is telling you that she was pregnant and now she's not. Or how about being so excited and so scared for another friend who wasn't so ready to have a baby but you know that she is going to be a perfect mother.  Or stepping up to show someone that he may not be there but you always will.  Or you your heart breaks for one of your oldest friends because you know how badly he wants to be a dad and it just hasn't happened yet. Or how to hold yourself together as someone who has always been there for you asks you to her labor coach.  Or becoming a puddle when you hear heart beat of your soon to be "nephew" in a stuffed bear next to a picture of him in his new nursery.
   We don't get those lessons in middle school or high school health class.  Life doesn't hand us a maroon bag and say here ask any question and I'll give you an answer.  I kinda wish it did.  Life is funny in that way.  You learn so much more AFTER you go throw something than when you're actually going thru it. Life gives us the answers we are searching for much MUCH later.  Recently, I've watched so many of my friends go thru the struggle of trying to have children that it scares me to think that it could be hard for Kevin and I some day.  I wish I could get that slip of paper and just ask "Why does that happen?" And Mrs.Mahoney give me the right answer. 
     I also feel for the women I know who are pregnant and feel like they can't be excited because they know that someone close to them heart is breaking for a child.  These women in my life need to realize how caring and selfless they are.  Of course your heart breaks for the ones who are trying but don't let that take away from your own joy.  Its amazing to hear these women say how much they care about a friends feelings way beyond their own. Then again the same can be said to the friends that smile, hug and congratulate the ones that were blessed before them.  That kind of selfless love is the reason why I know ALL of these special ladies in my life will make the most amazing mothers and the men that stand beside all of them will make fantastic dads. 

I am so blessed to have so many of those caring women in my life and so thankful that they allow me to go along with them during their own journeys.  So to the soon to be, recently became, has been for quite some time, hope to be mothers out there...I hope that you know I have nothing but the up most respect for you all you for showing the world what true love and strength look like.

 And remember when your child does go to get married go easy on them...